Meet: Ellen Fleming
There are women you meet who subtly and slowly make their way into your heart with their charm.
And then there are women like Ellen Fleming.
Ellen barrels into your heart with her arms wide open, ready to tell you her entire life story within five minutes of meeting her — and somehow you’re grateful for every second of it.
She is the most vivacious, driven, and charismatic woman I have met since moving to New York. And I couldn’t be happier that she slid into my DMs on a random day.
No, seriously.
At a time when I wasn’t entirely sure what I was doing with Une Bonne Vivante, she found me through one of my blog posts. Sent me a message. Noticed that we just so happened to be in Paris at the same time the following week. And then — because of course she did — invited me to a sober sauna rave in New York.
That is how we became friends.
And if you’re thinking, “Wow, that sounds like the most New York, most Bonne Vivante origin story possible”.… it really is.
She carries a confidence that is awe-inspiring, while somehow remaining one of the most humble humans you can imagine. There is nothing she loves more than connecting people and bringing her circle together.
Why I consider her a Bonne Vivante:
She lights up a room the moment she walks in.
She makes friends with every single person there.
She travels in style and doesn’t even know the meaning of living a boring, quiet life.
Like me, she came to New York to reinvent herself after a chapter that was no longer serving her — and I couldn’t be prouder of the life I’ve watched her build.
And how poetic that Une Bonne Vivante — the thing I built while trying to figure myself out — is the very reason we met.
Ellen is a big inspiration behind the next chapter of this platform — and behind the woman I am becoming, too.
If you aren’t already in love with her, you absolutely will be.
Without further ado, I’d like to introduce you to Ellen Fleming….
Her philosophy is simple:
“Dress for the life you want.”
Inspired by Ralph Lauren’s documentary; the idea that the life you admire doesn’t have to stay in the movies. You can build it.
When she needs to feel powerful again, she doesn’t overcomplicate it:
“An excellent playlist. I make new playlists quarterly. Bold sunglasses. A smoky eye.”
Quarterly playlists feel like therapy with better lighting.
There are indulgences she will never apologize for:
“Tracy Anderson. Sakara. The Delta Lounge access.”
A woman who invests in herself and her airport experience. We respect it.
Of course, no Bonne Vivante story is complete without a Champagne Problem:
“My flight from Miami to Boston kept getting delayed while I was poolside at The Standard. I kept getting Delta alerts that it was delayed, so I just stayed by the pool until it was time to go. I was solo. Everyone else had left for the day. When I finally got to Boston, I slept almost ten hours. Returning to earth was rough after that trip.”
If all travel mishaps looked like this, we would never complain again.
When I asked her about a moment she felt most alive, her answer wasn’t about achievement, it was about joy:
“The moments that stand out lately are the ones that feel active and joyful — like running along the water or dancing to great music. My girlfriend and I went on a Manhattan solstice boat cruise last June that felt magical. I also loved Kaskade’s Christmas show in Brooklyn. A friend surprised me with it, and it ended up being completely my vibe.”
As a self-described “control enthusiast,” she added:
“I really appreciate when someone else plans something thoughtful and unexpected that feels perfectly aligned with who I am.”
There’s something beautiful about a woman who builds her life, and still allows herself to be surprised.
When I asked what she would tell her younger self, she laughed:
“I owe my younger self a book’s worth of guidance — and maybe even a TED Talk. I sometimes fantasize about going back in time to give her a proper blowout and do her makeup before a school dance.”
But her real advice?
“Live on your own at least once. The independence, confidence, and clarity that come from creating your own space are invaluable.”
And that might be the most important advice in this entire piece.
When asked about her main-character soundtrack, she has a couple solid options:
“I’ve been loving anything with an upbeat, feel‑good energy lately — starting with This Is What You Came For” by Calvin Harris and Rihanna, and then jumping right into Calvin Harris’ By Your Side.
I keep a “divorcee mixtape” playlist that captures every emotion in the best way. And for lighter moments, I’ve curated a four‑hour beach playlist called “Cheetos in the Cabana.” It’s named after Cheetos Paws — the ultimate beach snack, even if they’re surprisingly hard to find.”
Because joy should absolutely be curated.
A few rapid flashes of Ellen energy:
Favorite city?
Barcelona — “I was angry no one told me to go sooner.”
(We love a woman who holds a grudge against missed travel opportunities.)
Red lipstick or smoky eye?
“Red lipstick, lean into the Cruella vibe I’ve got going on now.”
Naturally.
Solo adventure or girls trip?
Solo adventure — ideally with one or two friends meeting her there, at least for golf.
“I love visiting other people’s lives and taking the best parts back home.”
Which might be the most Bonne Vivante sentence ever written.
Motto of the moment:
"I am very into the year of the snake into the year of the horse. Big year for Libras and Aries!”
And if you find yourself wandering New York, take a note from Ellen.
The best place to people-watch?
Soho at sunrise — where tourists and real models share the same imaginary runway.
For martinis or wine?
The Golden Swan.
A solid choice, as expected.
Ellen is witty. She’s charming. She is completely herself. And she is kind.
She is exactly the reason I wanted to create Une Bonne Vivante, and Meet the Muse more specifically: to celebrate women who are building lives that feel like art. Who indulge without apology. Who reinvent themselves boldly. Who curate joy. Who walk into rooms — and hearts — with arms wide open.
And how poetic that Une Bonne Vivante is how we met in the first place.
Here’s to dressing for the life you want. And then actually living it.
Et Voilà! The Bonne Vivante table gets a little longer.
